Why Wedding Traditions Exist and How Modern Couples Are Redefining Them
After shooting hundreds of weddings we have watched couples navigate this question more than almost any other. Which traditions do we keep. Which ones do we skip. Which ones do we change to feel more like us. Here is what we have learned from being in the room for all of it.
Classic Wedding Traditions and their meaning
The white wedding dress became popular after Queen Victoria wore white in 1840. Before that brides wore whatever color they owned. White caught on because royalty wore it, not because it meant anything in particular. Today when a bride comes around the corner in white it stops the room. That part has nothing to do with history and everything to do with the moment itself.
The engagement ring on the left hand comes from an old Roman belief that a vein ran directly from that finger to the heart. It was called the vena amoris, the vein of love. Not anatomically accurate. But we have photographed enough ring exchanges to know that the idea of it still lands.
Wedding rings themselves are one of the oldest traditions we carry. The circle has no beginning and no end. That is the whole point.
The rhyme something old something new something borrowed something blue was meant to bring good fortune into marriage. Old represents continuity. New represents optimism for the future. Borrowed represents shared happiness. Blue symbolizes loyalty and faithfulness. Many couples still incorporate this wedding tradition in subtle personal ways.
Bridesmaids and groomsmen originally existed to protect the couple. They dressed similarly to confuse evil spirits and ward off negative energy. Today the wedding party represents chosen family standing beside the couple offering emotional support throughout the wedding day.
Just don’t tell your friends/family you are there to fool evil spirits :p
Wedding Traditions Meant to Protect the Couple
Many traditional wedding customs were created with protection in mind. The bridal veil was originally used to shield the bride from bad spirits and jealous eyes. Today it has evolved into one of the most emotional reveal moments during the wedding ceremony.
Carrying the bride over the threshold began as a way to prevent evil spirits from entering the home through the feet. In modern weddings it symbolizes care protection and the beginning of married life together.
In many cultures bells were rung during wedding ceremonies to scare away negative energy and invite joy prosperity and good fortune. Even today bells appear in ceremony music and celebratory exits.
Funny Wedding Traditions With Unexpected Origins
Some wedding traditions exist simply because of human behavior and history. Leaving the bottom button of a suit unbuttoned traces back to King Edward VII who stopped buttoning his vest due to weight gain. Because he was royalty the style caught on and became proper suit etiquette still followed by grooms today.
A fat king caused us to have to remember to unbotton our last button…
The bouquet and garter toss came from a time when guests believed physical contact with the bride transferred her good luck to them. They would try to grab pieces of her dress, sometimes tearing it. Tossing the bouquet was a solution. A distraction. A way to give the crowd something to chase so the bride could escape in one piece. We have shot both moments hundreds of times. The bouquet toss always produces at least one photo worth keeping.
The word honeymoon comes from the tradition of drinking honey wine for an entire month after the wedding. While modern honeymoons look very different the idea of celebrating love away from daily life remains. You can see in this photo that some couples prefer something stronger! Like a Red Bull!
Modern Wedding Traditions Couples Are Creating Today
Modern weddings are no longer about following rules. Couples are intentionally creating wedding day experiences that reflect their values. Many couples choose private vows to share deeply personal promises away from the crowd and share simpler public vows at their ceremony.
The first look has become one of the most meaningful moments of the wedding day. A bride and groom seeing each other privately before the ceremony, away from the crowd, just the two of them. We have been lucky enough to stand a few feet away for hundreds of those moments. They are never the same twice. Some couples laugh. Some cry immediately. Some just hold each other and breathe. The first look also gives you your time back. Couples who do a first look get to actually attend their own cocktail hour because you get get some of the family photos out of the way before ceremony.
Non-traditional wedding parties or no wedding party at all. Couples who have their best friend from college standing beside them and their sibling on the other side regardless of gender. We photograph the wedding party exactly as the couple builds it! From the couple’s children, to BFFs, the wedding party is no longer divided by gender.
During receptions more couples are choosing a private dinner for the couple. This allows them to eat reconnect and enjoy quiet time before visiting tables and celebrating with guests instead of sitting at their table trying to eat while everyone walk up to try to talk to them.
A private last dance at the end of the night. The DJ clears the floor. It is just the two of them with a song that means something. No staged exit, no performance. Just a real ending to the night. We have never photographed a private last dance that did not produce something worth printing.
The Traditions That Matter Are the Ones That Mean Something to You
We have shot weddings where couples kept every tradition that ever existed and weddings where they threw out everything except the vows and the cake. Both were exactly right for the couple who planned them.
The traditions that photograph best are never the ones couples felt obligated to include. They are the ones they chose because it meant something to them personally. A grandmother’s jewelry. A ceremony in a language that honors their heritage. A first dance to a song that was playing the night they met. An exit through sparklers because the couple just wanted to end the night with fire.
After all the weddings we have shot across Florida the thing we know for certain is this: the moments that last are the ones that were actually true. Whatever traditions you carry into your wedding day, carry the ones that are true for you.
If you want to see how we document those moments, you can find more of our work in our blog!
Frequently Asked Questions About Wedding Traditions
Should I do a first look at my wedding?
Couples are about 50/50 on this one and both choices are completely valid. A first look lets you see each other privately before the ceremony, get some formal photos done early, and actually attend your own cocktail hour. If a first look does not feel right for you, a first touch is a great alternative. You stand on opposite sides of a door or wall, hold hands or touch fingers without seeing each other, and still get that intimate moment and those photos before the ceremony begins.
Do we have to do a bouquet toss?
Not at all, and honestly, fewer and fewer couples do it. What we see more often now is the bride pausing at the end of the first dance or during the welcome speech to give a short speech thanking her mother for everything she did to help plan the wedding, and then handing her the bouquet directly. It is a genuine moment, moms always get left out during the first dance, so it’s a beautiful way to recognize the mother of the bride as well, and it photographs beautifully every time.
What is an unplugged ceremony?
An unplugged ceremony is when you ask guests to put their phones and cameras away during the ceremony. No screens, no devices, just people present in the room with you. We always recommend it. The photos are cleaner, the faces are visible, and the emotional energy is completely different when nobody is looking through a screen. Of course, this requires full faith on the photo and video team to be able to deliver an amazing product, and one of the reasons we provide same-day sneak peeks.
Some couples also add what we call a photo minute. Right after the processional ends and before the ceremony officially begins, the couple poses together for about a minute while guests take as many photos as they want. Everyone gets their shot, the phones go away, and the ceremony starts with full presence. It is a smart compromise.
And yes, if someone does pull out their phone during the ceremony anyway, we always try to get a photo of it. Gives the couple something to bring up at Thanksgiving.
What is a private last dance?
Covered in the article above. Scroll up to the Modern Traditions section.
Do wedding traditions have to be religious or cultural?
Not at all. Traditions just need to be meaningful to the people involved. We have photographed couples who created entirely new rituals specific to their relationship. A lock placed on a fence, a letter buried at the venue, a shared meal before the ceremony. If it means something to you it counts.
